I think the problem is that if you state your goal explicitly “to be in a relationship” then often people would hear an implicit “it does not matter with whom” between the lines. Romantics would assume you only see them as a generic commodity and not as a special snowflake, while others would assume if you’re this desperate there must be…
I think the problem is that if you state your goal explicitly “to be in a relationship” then often people would hear an implicit “it does not matter with whom” between the lines. Romantics would assume you only see them as a generic commodity and not as a special snowflake, while others would assume if you’re this desperate there must be something wrong with you. Defensive downplaying is just a standard approach when you don’t have a good mental model for your counterparty.
I think the problem is that if you state your goal explicitly “to be in a relationship” then often people would hear an implicit “it does not matter with whom” between the lines. Romantics would assume you only see them as a generic commodity and not as a special snowflake, while others would assume if you’re this desperate there must be something wrong with you. Defensive downplaying is just a standard approach when you don’t have a good mental model for your counterparty.